Back to school!

Whoa, hold on to your little hats there. I just mean I am going to take another class at Stanford (through their continuing studies program) this winter. In the fall of 2007, I took Anxieties in Early Childhood and it was awesome. I loved it and I was the only one that made it to every single class. This class falls under the "Mini Med School program" and is a SCI course: Medicine, Human Health, and the Frontiers of Science. It sounds so cool! I am way excited. It starts on January 14th. KaKOW!

On Monday I have a couple of stressful meetings at work but oddly, I'm looking forward to them. Bring it on, bitch! (Wait until Monday when I turn into a little wuss of a thing and just want to run away screaming and crying, right?) I'm trying to hold onto the attitude I have now. It is going to better serve me.

Special moments

You can hardly tell, but here I am with one of my cats, Colby. In the glass aquarium is Kashi, but he was hiding out/sleeping. Colby wants to eat him.

Weird

So I went to my friend Hilary's for Thanksgiving yesterday. I know her through work. Her sister and sister's husband were there. Right away I thought the guy looked sort of familiar but didn't say anything. Later on, while eating dinner, Hilary's sister asked me if I knew where Waukegan was (since I had said I was from Illinois). I immediately made a freaked out expression. That's where I'm from. Well, turns out her husband, the guy sitting right across from me, was from Waukegan too. And the same high school class as me! We never had any classes together or anything so we didn't really know each other (although I knew of him when he said his name) and of course we knew a lot of mutual people.

What are the chances of running into one of your high school classmates at a Thanksgiving dinner 2000 miles away from your old hometown? Very weird!

Job II

I applied for 4 jobs yesterday. Three of them were outside of the company. I really really do want to stay at my company but I have to look outside because my opportunities within might be limited thanks to my evil boss dropping my score. The guy that actually managed me gave me a good score and a glowing review. The guy that lowered my score really knew nothing of my work and probably didn't even look at what my manager wrote. That hurts. That's a big butt hurt right there. :( And now it is likely to be an 'issue' as I try to move. Lame and sad!

My new manager is a joke and everyone laughs at him behind his back because he makes absolutely no sense. None. No one can believe he was made into a manager. I'd feel bad for the guy (almost) but right now he's on a total ego trip where he thinks he's god and owns all sorts of things that he does not. It will be a bummer for him when (if?) he figures it all out. But it will take him awhile, 'cause he's slow like that. And I hope to be loooooooong gone!

Job

• Yes, I'm looking for a new job.
• Yes, I'm trying to stay within the company.
• No, I don't have any update unless I tell you.
• No, I don't really want to talk to you about it.

If I do want to talk about it, I'll tell you. OK, thanks, bye!

Laugh tracks

At some point in the past couple of years, I've become almost completely intolerant of shows with laugh tracks. It can drive me completely insane. Confession though: I like the tween show iCarly. Shut up!

Yeah I know!

I have awesome coats.

Take this world -- now flip it on its side...

I'm not good with change. I avoid it, even if it means that I have to continue living in a certain extent of misery. Then things get to a point where I have to change things. Well, people, I've reached that point. Starting Monday, my main job is going to be looking for a new job, both within my company & outside. I don't want to leave my company at all, but I also don't like some of the things I'm seeing/hearing. Not-so-great things happen when you go from a start-up to a big booming business; 400 to 20,000 employees. I've actually endured plenty of change but what I'm feeling today is heartache, because I also know that my beloved master is also sadistic, cruel, and unforgiving. It feeds the wrong egos. It is allowing evil. In some cases, it is rewarding evil. I am seeing too much at the same time. My freaking soul actually hurts today. I feel like there's a little piece of me that died throughout the day. I left cursing my computer and the email team for changes that they made to my inbox when I was at a point that I could just not deal with any more change. When I walked out to my car, I expected a flat tire. It was just one of those days when nothing can go right.

Right now I feel like I'm in an abusive home. I'm being fed and given shelter, but I'm cowering in a corner in the dark because at any moment, I could be smacked. I'm just waiting for it.

Hmm, I might find out sooner than Wednesday morning. My boss scheduled a meeting for us (one on one) at 5:30 tomorrow. I'm adopting a very "whatevs" attitude. Whatevs!

Chubby cheeks might be cute on other people but I'm not digging it. Make it go away!

Job

Now I have to wait until Wednesday morning to find out about this re-org crap. I hope anxiety ==> energy for cleaning.

It took me a long time, but I have really realized I don't want to be a project manager. At all. I suck at it and I don't like it.

I don't know what to be when I grow up.